Good Lives are Gold
by JaspreetPink
Summary: Snippets in the lives and love of Willow and Cordelia. Slightly AU, femslash


_Willow led Cordelia by the hand through the jungle. Brand-new third graders who had just graduated to the big jungle gym, the two girls were trying to find a place to escape._

_Leading her to the far end of the play yard, Willow got to her knees and began crawling under the wooden ramparts._

_"Eww...my dress will get dirty!" Cordy whined. Willow looked up at the disgusted face framed with straight chocolate hair that fell and tossed on the sea of pastel flowers on Cordy's frock. Willow looked down at her own overalls already dirty._

_"It's the best place to hide, Cordy, the boys will never find us here." She held out her hand. Cordy reluctantly took it, sighing over her clothes all the same._

_"You can sit on my lap, then you're dress won't get too dirty," Willow suggested. Cordelia sat, one arm hooked around Willow's shoulders to steady herself._

_"Xander was so mean. I hate boys. I hate that Jesse follows me around too." Cordelia said._

_"Boys are supposed to be yucky, it's their job. But Xander and Jesse can be really nice sometimes."_

_Cordy was leaning her head on Willow's. The girls sat in the silent half-darkness, the sound of kids playing so far and unreal. Willow felt it was a sweet moment; she hardly ever played with other girls, and now she had one all to herself. _

_Leaning in just so slowly she leaned in and kissed Cordy on the lips, pulling away quickly. Cordy kissed her back just as briefly. It was when they leaned in for a longer kiss when the teacher's aid found them._

"Keep away from me, freak!" Cordelia exclaimed. Willow, who had fallen down when the two of them bumped to each other, just looked up, speechless. The same words, said with the same tone, just like the day after they had been found kissing on the playground. The mournful look Willow replied with was exactly the same too.

"Hey Cordelia, I know it must be really hard to walk with such wide hips, but you've got to be more careful!" Buffy quipped with a smile. Cordy walked off in a huff while Buffy and Xander grabbed an arm and hauled Willow to her feet. "You okay?" Buffy asked.

"I'm fine. I don't see why Cordelia has to be so mean though," Willow sulked.

"Come on Will, she's always been like that. I think it's a genetic defect," Xander said as the three of them walked down the hall.

"She wasn't always like that," Willow muttered under her breath.

_Day before the start of junior year, someone rang Willow's doorbell. At first Will thought it was Buffy, come to tell her some wonderful secret she couldn't have said with Xander around._

_When she found Cordelia at the door she nearly went into shock. But after all she'd seen on the Hellmouth, she bounced back from shock quickly._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"Can we talk?" Not waiting for an answer, Cordy pushed passed her and walked up the stairs. Willow followed, to her bedroom._

_"You want to talk about what happened at the end of last year, the vampire attack?" Willow wondered._

_"What? No, why would I want to think about that freak show?" A pregnant pause. "I thought about you all summer. And I didn't know why and it annoyed me a lot." _

_"Well, that's nice..." Willow was cut off as Cordy leaned in and kissed her, grabbing her by the hips and shoving her against the wall. Her kisses were hungry and demanding and oh so red, her hands were wandering and groping, and Willow felt like she was dying._

"Oh God! Oh God!" Cordelia whispered. Instantly, Willow clamped her hand over Cordy's mouth. Spike and his gang of vampires were out in the hall, if he found the two of them in the broom closet they would be vamp food.

"Someone's in the ceeeeiling!" Spike called in a singsong voice.

Willow sighed in relief. Moving her hand from Cordelia's mouth she whispered, right into Cordy's ear, "I think he's moved on, we'll be safe for a little while."

Cordeila nodded stiffly, and then grasped Willow's hand tightly.

"It's okay," Willow said, trying to offer a little reassurance. She pulled them to the back of the closet. Sitting on a box, she pulled Cordy down to join her. Somehow, though, it ended up that Cordy was sitting on Willow's lap.

"You've gotten bigger since third grade," Willow whispered, smiling slightly.

"Uh, yeah..." Cordelia replied. She stood up and leaned against one of the shelves.

"I didn't mean you had to..."

"I know," Cordy said quietly.

Willow looked up balefully at her girlfriend, then down at her shoes. Stupid Mary Janes. Stupid, ugly dress. She felt a hand at her neck and the smile returned to Willow's face. Cordelia began stroking Willow's long auburn hair. After a few minutes she stopped and walked over to the door.

"I think he's gone," she whispered.

"He could come back!" Willow whispered back.

"What are we gonna do?"

"Pray."

_Willow and Cordelia lay on Willow's bed, laughing hysterically._

_"Oh...my...he actually said that?" Cordy managed to say through the laughter._

_"I swear, he..." giggle, "he..." Willow trailed off, lying on her side and facing Cordy. _

_Cordelia hooked her thumb in the waistband of Willow's Halloween costume. "You know that's really trashy, right?"_

_"Well, that was kinda the point. Come as you aren't night, you know?" She said in her sweet stuffy-nose voice. Cordelia ran her thumb over Willow's exposed stomach, making her moan with every touch._

_"I-I-I like your ," Willow breathed out. Cordelia smiled. Bending her head down, she licked Willow's stomach, circling her belly button with the tip of her tongue._

_At that moment a thought struck Willow; the head cheerleader was in her room, licking her stomach—this was too perfect to not fall apart._

Willow felt like she was dying, like all her insides were being ripped apart, as she watched Xander and Cordelia kissing in the library. She ran away, unable to deal with it. The two people she loved...her girlfriend was cheating on her, and she had to lie, pretend, act as if it were only Xander's betrayal that hurt. But Xander had no idea.

She had pushed it all way, until the Judge was killed, while Angel had almost killed her. She pushed it away until they were alone, Willow and Cordelia.

And then, she pushed Cordelia away. Without hearing what Cordelia had to say for herself.

"Cordelia, you're straight. I don't know why we started this freak show, but I don't want to be with you ever again. I...I want to forget it ever happened."

_Willow,_

_I suppose you've gotten me back now. I probably deserve it from you, after what I put you through last year. You never would let me tell you how sorry I am about that. I never meant for it to go that far, with either of you. If you had let me, I would have chosen you in the end, you know. _

_But I can't forgive Xander. Not after we were a real couple. Not after embarrassing me in front of the school. Not after the fact that it was you he was kissing._

_Good luck getting Oz back. You belong together, except for the fact that you're gay of course._

_Cordelia Chase_

Of course it had been a rough of year. What with Tara dying, Conner being born, Willow going evil, Cordelia going to a higher plane. Coming back wasn't any easier. Willow had to readjust to living in Sunnydale, keeping the magicks in balance. With each spell she did she was afraid she'd go off the deep end, get dark roots and start killing her friends.

All Cordelia had to do was wait while Angel realized a higher power had hijacked her body and then kill it. Which he did, successfully.

Unfortunately, if the poor boy...man...pire thought she would come out of that with declarations of her love for him, he was living in some kind of retarded fantasy.

"Angel, it's not that I don't love you. It's just that I'm on a different road. Too much has happened. And—there's some unfinished business I need to take care of."

Outside the Hyperion hotel, in the garden, Cordy kissed Angel for the last time. "And come on, you know you thrive on being miserable."

He laughed, the way he only laughed for her. That night he got a vision, and he knew his path.

_Willow thought she was a vision. To see Cordelia Chase standing at the back door of the Revello Drive house while Willow was taking out the garbage, there was no way it could be real. _

_"Hey," Cordelia said. _

_"Hey," Willow said back. "You're not still evil, are you...because I heard about the whole Cordy's evil thing from Fred, then I didn't hear anything from LA and I was worried..."_

_"I'm not evil, Willow."_

_"Oh, good. 'Cause, I know what it's like being evil, and it's not so much with the Twinkies and the hugs as the rage and the murder..."_

_"I think I love you." _

_Willow froze. This woman, Cordelia, she wasn't the girl she'd fallen for and hated so long ago. Calmer, braver, less shallow; Cordelia was her past, but she wasn't Tara either, and she wasn't new like Kennedy. Willow wasn't sure what Cordelia was now, or what she meant to her. _

_"How can you?" Willow asked, "I'm not who I used to be, and neither are you. I'm not some doe-eyed girl, hoping for the least little..." she faltered at Cordy's calm stare, "...attention, and..."_

_"You're right, I'm not who I was and would never use you again, never hurt you." Cordelia took a step closer, and something within Willow began to hurt unbearably. "I spent the summer as a higher being, and I saw you Willow, I felt you and I felt your love. I felt your love for Tara and I wanted to be a part of your love," Willow began crying silently, "And I felt your pain, and rage, and hate. Like it was my own. I wanted to make it better, I wanted to help you but I couldn't and I..." Cordelia began crying too, "Yours was the loudest voice, Willow, in the whole universe, and I knew you and loved you..." _

_Willow strode up to her and put her arms around Cordelia's neck, laying her chin on her shoulder. She felt Cordy's arm on her back, holding her tight. _

_They pulled away. "Well, miss higher being, I still need to get reacquainted with you—last time we met you sent a scary floaty head at me" Willow took her hand and led her into the kitchen._

_"Oh that was so not me!" Cordy protested. "That was some..."_

_Willow kissed her. "No need to explain to me."_


End file.
